Pattie Boyd Part: Two
On Getting Together with Eric Clapton : "Things had been going quite badly between George and I for a while, and we were almost leading different lives. We were really so very young and immature then. I wouldn't see him for days; I never knew where he was unless I was running around after him. Eric gave me much of the attention I no longer got from George. "I was incredibly flattered when he played 'Layla' for me in his South Kensington flat. I was so astounded at this powerful, sensual song, and I knew it was written for me -- I just sensed it. I also felt embarrassed, because I knew that George would know how Eric felt -- everyone would know. When George and I separated, I became anxious about being with Eric. I really thought I'd made a mistake. There was definitely chemistry between us, but his intensity frightened me slightly. "I went to live with my sister in Los Angeles to get away. Eric tracked me down and suggested I join him for a couple of gigs in the States. I was seduced by his lifestyle immediately." "
On Living with Eric "I'd never been on the road before, and watching Eric from the side of the stage, with what looked like millions of women adoring him, was electrifying. This was my man! "We traveled all over America and had many years of fun together before it all began to unravel. Eric had been on heroin before we got together, and a doctor had warned me addicts often use alcohol as a replacement. But it was difficult to know what was normal for a musician on the road, working hard. In those days, nobody really knew what an alcoholic was, and you didn't think it of somebody who seemed to be functioning normally. "You start mopping up after them to keep things normal, and I slipped into a role that wasn't really me. I wasn't mean to be co-dependent. It was hard to watch him hurting himself. I kept thinking, 'One day he'll stop drinking and life will be fantastic again.' Really, I was just waiting for that day." On
Splitting with Eric : In an interview with The Sunday Times Eric revealed that when he was a "full-blown, practising" alcoholic "there were times when I took sex with my wife by force and thought that was my entitlement. I had absolutely no concern for other people". Pattie also says: "Eric and I had been unsuccessfully trying to have a child with IVF, so it was a huge blow finding out Eric was going to have a child with the Italian model Lori Del Santo. When Connor was born I stayed, hoping to deal with the situation, but I was always aware that he now had another family. "Sometimes looking back, you can see the life lessons you've learnt. The saddest thing was, after Connor died, I couldn't see the life lessons. Eric and I had split up over Connor and now Eric was all alone. What was the point of it all?"
On Her Looks "When I was younger, I loved wearing short skirts or low-slung trousers from Biba or Granny Takes a Trip. But I had a very fragile confidence. I had been a model, and I think modeling is an industry that highlights all your flaws and can magnify them all out of proportion. It emphasizes the wrong parts of a girl. "Growing older, I wished that I had a more defined bone structure, as aging is easier with good bones, but, oddly enough, the only time growing older has affected my confidence is when I look in the mirror. Then, I see everything that's wrong, but once I'm away from the mirror I simply don't think about it. Every year I contemplate having something done, but truthfully I think you have to be very careful not to eradicate your personality. I had the gap filled between my front teeth a few years ago, and I regret it. "Ultimately, there are compensations to growing older. You are much wiser and more confident, and you can secretly laugh at situations because you know exactly how they are going to play out."
On Starting Over :"After Eric and I split up, I had to learn to do everything myself. I'd never paid an electricity bill, and I didn't know you needed tax discs on your car. I had no idea how to make money and no idea what I was going to do next. But I had always had a camera with me and a darkroom at my home, so I started taking photographs. "I did a couple of photography courses, and then I did a few jobs for friends, and a career began. I also did a nutritional course, and with all of my homework I could try to get my mind off the horrible divorce."
On Her Life Now : "I miss the intimacy of a relationship, but at the same time I enjoy being on my own. In an ideal world, I'd have both: intimacy and independence. But I don't think I'll ever have such a passionate relationship again. You will never be as vulnerable as you are in your youth, and you have to be slightly vulnerable to allow yourself to feel such intensity. "Would I change anything about my life? No, nothing could have been better than the life I've had. It's been fantastic, unique, and interesting in every aspect. It was so jolly, but it was also very painful. I've had extreme relationships, so you could say I've paid for the wonderful times with the huge dollops of unhappiness that went with them."
Eric visiting Pattie at Friar Park, when she was still married to George.
Finally together
El and Nell
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